


Vali and Narvi

by NCSP



Series: Something to tell you [4]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marvel Norse Lore, Minor Character Death, Mpreg, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Old Norse, References to Norse Religion & Lore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 13:25:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14812217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NCSP/pseuds/NCSP
Summary: Loki’s past is tormenting him, Tony wants to find a solution.And what Tony Stark wants, Tony Stark gets





	Vali and Narvi

“Loki! Loki, it’s all right, wake up!”

Tony was shaking him by the shoulders, doing his best to snatch him from the nightmare that had him tossing under the warm comforter like he was physically in pain.

“It’s fine, it’s me. You had a bad dream, that’s it.” 

“Don’t let them take them! Please, they’re just children, please!” Loki was screaming, Tony’s embrace useless.

“Loki, it’s me.”

“Take it at me if you have, they are just children!” He cried.

Tony was worried. He had never seen Loki in such a state, actually begging an invisible presence with a despair in his voice that made Tony’s hearth clench.

“Loki. Hey, listen to me,” he shook the god once more, then he resorted to lightly slapping him to bring him back to reality.

That seemed to work.

Finally Loki’s eyes focused on Tony, the emerald irises swallowed by the black pupils, and he grasped his tank top for balance.

“It was just a nightmare, Lokes, you’re fine.”

“Don’t let them take our child,” his hands instantly darted to his stomach to protect the little creature.

“Them?”

“Don’t let them snatch the baby away from me, please,” warm tears were running down his cheeks, and Tony could only hold him closer, still not understanding what he meant by that, “Please.”

“I don’t know what you dreamt, but it was just that, a dream. Nothing more. Nothing bad’s about to happen,” he kissed Loki’s forehead, but that wasn’t enough to calm him down, “Come, I’ll make you some tea. You’ll feel better after drinking something hot,” under different circumstances Tony would’ve poured him a glass of scotch, bringing up his old habits, but it was impossible to do that at the moment even though it would’ve been the best solution.

Loki followed him only because Tony had an arm around his waist and he would’ve probably broken into pieces without his presence by his side, still muttering something that dangerously reminded a ‘please’ under his breath. 

Tony kept hugging Loki as the water boiled and even searched for a teabag with only one hand in order not to the go of him, and when the water was finally ready he led the scared god to the kitchen island and made him sit on one of the stools coming from the studio of a famous designer whose name he couldn’t remember.

“Better?”

Loki nodded, trying to hide his eyes with the cup he was holding in his hands.

“Want to talk about it?”

Loki really didn’t. 

He already dreamt about them way more often than usual, and actually talking about them… No, that was too much.  
An yet Tony probably deserved to know.

This new child, this child who faced the same dangers they had, was also Tony’s, and he had to know what could happen when Loki was involved.

“You don’t have to, just know I’m here if you want,” Tony put a comforting hand on his shoulder and he leant into the touch.

“I can’t…”

“You’ll tell me when you’re ready.”

 

~

 

As the nights went on, Loki slept less and less. The nightmares kept coming more often and more vividly, making him wake up screaming every night.

He had come to the point of avoiding sleep in order not to see those memories replayed behind his eyelids, but the baby seemed to be fighting against him making him feel always more tired.

Tony was about to call Bruce to ask his help, to prescribe some sleeping pills for Loki even though they had no idea what kind of dosage he might have needed to be knocked out for at least a few hours without damaging the baby.

Their nights had become dreadful for Loki and unbearable for Tony, to the point Pepper had suggested him to go sleep in the guest room since he couldn’t keep on nodding off during their meetings; he had already been seen drunk and devastated by the people he was supposed to meet, and they had all felt relieved – leading to an increase of the value of the shares of the Stark Industries – when he had stopped showing up in that state of disarray, so it would have been better if he didn’t bring those habits back. Tony had yelled he would have fired her if she ever brought that up again.

For how frustrating not being able to get a decent night sleep in his own bed, the most frustrating thing for Tony was not being able to help Loki through that; he was the one wrestling him from those dreams that were haunting him, but he could do nothing to make them stop. He saw the pained expression on Loki’s face, the tears that kept falling down his cheeks, and yet he could do nothing to make him confide in him enough to tell him what was tormenting him.

All he knew was that it was linked to their child, and that only made him feel worse. 

For Loki, what was worse was not being able to tell Tony. He was the only person – human or god didn’t matter – on whom he had been able to rely in centuries if not ever, and now he couldn’t force himself to say what was keeping them up every night. He was too focused on what was tearing him apart from the inside to actually come up with a way to get rid of that burden.

Two weeks had passed from the first time they had both been woken up by Loki’s nightmares, and they had somehow fallen into a sort of a routine: Tony was woken up by Loki’s screams, forced him to wake up and led him to the kitchen, preparing him some tea to calm his nerves. It didn’t really work because Loki remained awake for the rest of the night and Tony nodded off against him, his head on Loki’s legs, but there wasn’t much more he could do.

That night made no exception. Loki woke up sweating in Tony’s arms, his hands clenched on his stomach, his breathing laboured, his lover holding him close.

“It’s alright,” Tony whispered for the hundredth time.

“Please don’t let them take our child,” he repeated also this time, always puzzling Tony more.

“I’m the only one here. Now come with me, the water should be still warm for your tea.”

They reached the kitchen as always, Loki shivering against Tony’s side but accepting the idea of sitting alone on one of the stools.

“Thanks,” he murmured when the cup was deposited in front of him, “You can go back to sleep if you want, you know. You don’t have to stay with me.”

Tony was a little surprised by how talkative he was tonight – the nights before he had only managed to get a couple words out of him – but he wouldn’t have let the chance go by.

“That’s nonsense. I won’t leave you alone when you’re such a mess.”

This time there was no point in denying.

“You need to sleep.”

“So do you.”

Loki stared into the cup for many long minutes, holding it with both hands. His eyes were lost in the steam coming out of the mug, but it was clear that a storm was going on in his mind; there were so many things fighting inside him in that moment one had to wonder how he could still be putting together a decent sentence.

“Vali and Narvi,” he whispered after a silence so long Tony wondered if he would’ve ever heard his voice again, “It’s them I dream about. My sons,” he sounded so pained that it looked like every word was clawing at his throat, drawing blood, before coming out of his mouth.

Tony was surprised by the revelation of the existence of two other sons of Loki, but he understood it wasn’t the time to ask questions. If Loki had decided to open up, it was better not to interrupt him.

“They… they were just children. Paying for the crimes of their father.”

After this Tony didn’t even dare to touch him.

“I had made a mistake, a horrible mistake, in retrospect. Balder had it coming, and had they been smart enough they would’ve been able to bring him back,” it was only the beginning of the story, and he already looked exhausted, his elbows on the counter and his forehead against the palms of his hands, “But Odin didn’t look for a solution. He sought revenge first. He and the other gods managed to capture me even though I had changed form so many times and turned in so many different animals I believed they would’ve never found me. They brought me in a cave, and told me my sons should have witnessed to their father’s defeat, so they wouldn’t have been tempted to follow my path. I had no way of opposing to that, Odin was restraining my magic. When Vali and Narvi came in,” he paused for a moment, “They looked so scared. Not for themselves, for me. They didn’t want anything bad to happen to me.”

At this point Tony wasn’t so sure anymore he wanted to hear the rest.

“I knew it the moment I looked at Odin he was planning something that went beyond his words. The looks from the other gods only confirmed that. They circled us, leaving them no chance of escape. Vali and Narvi started feeling nervous, they could see I knew something they didn’t, but didn’t try to run; I was there with them after all, nothing bad would’ve happened to them as long as they were with their father. Odin told me that since I liked transformations so much I should have witnessed to one more, so he turned Vali into a wolf and made him lose his mind. He attacked his brother. Narvi screamed, begged me to help him, but Odin had immobilised me. In a minute he was dead. When they were done making Vali kill his brother they made him return to his senses, long enough for making him realise what he had done. When he tried to nuzzle his brother, to wake him up, Odin speared him with Grungnir. The other gods finished him off. They laughed killing Vali, then used his tendons to tie me to a rock. So I would’ve had something of my son with me, they said. I begged Odin to take it at me instead, that they had done nothing wrong. His only response was not even letting me close my eyes.”

Tony was shocked.

Nothing came out of his mouth.

How could one possibly reply to that?

“That’s what I dream every night. That’s why I’m so scared for our child,“ his tone had remained even for the whole time of his tale, but now it broke.

So that was it. What kept him up the whole night was the possibility of bringing pain and sufferance to this child too.

“I… I’m so sorry,” for the first time Tony realised the difference between him an Loki; looking at him it was so easy forgetting how old he was, how many experiences he had already had, how much pain he had already gone through. It was easy to forget when Loki was so insecure about them, but that didn’t come from his apparent youth, from experience instead; it wasn’t uncertainty what he had showed Tony when he had told him about their child, it was the absolute certainty things would have gone in the worst way possible, because that had always been the rule for him. Tony had been an exception.

Loki didn’t even react to his words, so Tony forced himself to move and briefly wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“You have me this time.”

A younger Tony, a more insensible one, would’ve said ‘I’m sure our child’ll be more than fine if you refrain from killing people around’, but he knew better than making Loki feel more guilty than he already did. 

If he were to consider it, it was the first time ever he saw that feeling cross the god’s features.

“You,” Loki snorted in a sad tone, not even a derisive one.

“I’ll protect our child.”

“You’re mortal, Tony.”

“So what? You think that doesn’t make me fit to protect my family?”

“I think it only makes you fit to get killed too.”

So that was another point. Loki was scared for him too.

That was what made Tony regain at least a shred of his usual self, “Listen to me now. I’m perfectly capable of protecting myself, and this child too if I have to. So if that’s what’s keeping you up all night, stop worrying.”

“Don’t you want me to leave?”

“What?”

Loki turned around and raised his eyes on Tony, “Leave. If you’re lucky this child won’t resemble me, and you could keep it safe by not saying who the other parent his.”

“You should definitely sleep more. You’re losing your mind,” Tony put a hand on his leg, “We’ll find a way to be sure this baby will be safe, but I won’t even consider the option of you abandoning us.”

“That’s a horrible idea,” Loki commented, but he was secretly relieved of hearing Tony saying so; in his experience the idea of him getting out of the way would’ve come from Tony the moment he knew his presence was dangerous.

“Like many others I’ve had. They all turned out well. Why don’t we go back to bed now?”

Loki shook his head. Bed meant sleeping, sleeping meant nightmares, and he was sure that after his description they would’ve only been worse.

“Sofa then. I’m too old to spend the night on a stool,” or at least he wouldn’t have allowed Loki to do that; now he felt he could’ve gladly spent the entire night on the stool of a bar getting drunk to forget what he had heard.

This time Tony didn’t fall asleep with his head on Loki’s legs, he remained in a sitting position with the god securely tucked under his arm.

How well could he understand what Loki meant by his tale. He knew all too well how being unable to help someone else felt, and it had to be a thousand times worse for Loki. After all, Tony had simply witnessed to the death of a man who had yes saved his life, but was a stranger. A stranger with a family, a life of his own, a life he hadn’t been able to save, but a stranger indeed.  
Loki had been forced to see his sons being slaughtered in front of his eyes.

The more he thought about that the more he felt he was about to feel sick.

He had had nightmares for months, a sense of guilt almost strangling him in the middle of the night because he had been the indirect cause of the death of some people he didn’t even know, only because a father he despised had built his empire on innocents being murdered. Afghanistan had been a big wake up call for him, even though he had been told countless times by his shrink that he was not the direct responsible for what had happened. Yes, he was the target, but not because he had chosen to. He hadn’t chosen to be Howard Stark’s son, that was something he simply couldn’t change; modify his father legacy, yes, that was something he could work to, but there was no way of changing the past. And yet he had felt responsible for all the deaths he had caused in those three months, even though all he had done was trying to find a way to get out alive. He could not be held accountable for what others had done with weapons that bore his name, and yet sometimes the guilt was overwhelming.

Loki had seen his sons die as a punishment for something he had done.

How came he had still a shred of sanity eluded Tony.

He looked down at Loki; he was grasping Tony’s top, but for once his eyes were closed. Maybe telling him what had been tormenting him for weeks had drained him of all his remaining energies.

All Tony hoped was that he didn’t dream.

 

~

 

When morning came, announced by a rosy light invading the room, Tony was still awake.

He had spent the night wrecking his brain for a solution, and yet he hadn’t been able to come up with something to present Loki as an anchor of hope.

Or better, he had a sort of an idea, but he still missed vital information that only Loki would’ve been able to provide, but he would’ve rather returned for a prolonged sojourn in Afghanistan than waking up a sleeping, dreamless Loki.

He was cancelling the various meetings of the day – attaching to the mail an apologise to Pepper explaining that he was truly and deeply sorry, that she would’ve handled whatever important matter better than he would have, and that it was vital that he remained home today – when Loki’s eyelids fluttered open.

“Hello, sunshine.”

“Did I fall asleep?”

“It’s customary at night.”

“I didn’t dream anything…” most people didn’t remember their dreams in the morning, Loki wasn’t graced with this gift; he always remembered the images his sleep was filled with.

“You were probably too tired,” Tony stroked the still present dark circles under his eyes with his thumb.

Loki stirred against his side, neck sore for the weird sleeping position, “I should’ve listened to you.”

“Come again?”

“Maybe returning to bed wasn’t such a terrible idea,” his vertebrae loudly popped when he craned his neck to the side.  
“Jarvis, please save the file with this conversation.”

“Yes, sir.”

Loki was staring at him with a questioning look.

“You just said I was right,” Tony explained.

“Never said such a thing.”

“You admitted you were wrong.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“You said you should’ve listened to me.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

Loki seemed at a loss for words for once, and Tony was about to exult, but it turned out that is was only his nausea hitting him. Or maybe it was just a happy coincidence, for how throwing up every morning could be considered happy.

“Easy way to get out of an argument you were losing,” Tony appeared by his side with a glass of water in his hand.

Loki had received the education of a prince, so that was impossible, but Tony swore he had heard the god mumble something very akin to a ‘go fuck yourself’.

They were sitting at the counter in the kitchen when Tony found the courage to ask what had been bothering him for the last three hours.

“Where was Thor?”

There was no need to specify when. All Tony hoped was for his absence.

Loki took a moment to answer, staring inside his cup of tea, “He wasn’t there. He had been sent on a mission as Ambassador with my mother. Neither of them were there at the moment.”

Tony didn’t know how to interpret his tone; on one hand he sounded almost relieved that they hadn’t taken part to the massacre, on the other the thought of what they would’ve done kept on nagging him.

At least his plan might work.

“Want to do something particular today?” Tony quickly changed the subject; he wouldn’t have wanted to bring Loki’s mind back to the fate of his children, but he needed to know where Frigga and Thor had been at the moment, and there was no other way for him to obtain that piece of information.

“Checking my intentions?”

“No, just want to know where I’ll be in the next hours.”

“Working?” Loki hinted. Maybe he really had to consider sleeping in the guest room; waking up alone after a nightmare was bad, but Tony was clearly suffering for the lack of sleep.

“Not today. If you don’t have any ideas I’d go to the lab for a few hours. Care to join me?

“I don’t need your constant vigilance.”

“You have very strange ways of saying ‘yes’ in Asgard.”

**Author's Note:**

> I promise next chapters won't be so angsty!


End file.
